No matter how high the divorce rate climbs, facing the end of your own marriage is devastating.
You’ll likely experience a plethora of emotions from disbelief and grief to frustration and worry.
Knowing how to survive a divorce means being prepared for the expected and the unexpected. From finding a qualified divorce attorney and filing the necessary paperwork to dividing assets, the entire process can be overwhelming.
We’re here to help your separation go as smoothly as possible.
Keep reading for 7 essential divorce tips that will simplify the divorce process.
1. Own Your Feelings
Regardless of the reason for your divorce, separating from someone you once loved is emotional and painful. Don’t ignore these feelings.
It’s okay to be sad, angry, and scared. Divorce is a major life change. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of not only your spouse but the life you once shared together.
Once you move past these emotions, you can focus on the divorce process with a clear mind. Now, you can make decisions based on logic and fact rather than ones fueled by emotion.
2. Keep Communication Positive
If you and your ex are ending on bad terms, you may not even want to look at them let alone talk to them. Unfortunately, communication is an important part of the divorce process.
You need to file certain paperwork, schedule meetings, and sort out custody and support if you have children.
Let your divorce attorney handle all communication with your ex to avoid any negative interactions. When tensions run high, you both may say or do things you don’t mean.
To survive a divorce, you need to keep it as amicable as possible. Divorce mediation is another option for couples who are prepared to sit down and have a productive conversation.
During mediation, you and your spouse will meet with a trained mediator. This unbias third party doesn’t offer legal advice, but instead, facilitates the conversation in the hopes of coming to an agreement.
Some couples can decide on everything from dividing property to child visitation without ever stepping foot inside divorce court.
3. Stop Second-Guessing Yourself
Anytime you make a major life decision, you’re plagued with the “what ifs?”.
What if I tried harder? What if we never had that fight?
Don’t torture yourself by looking back. If you’re already in the divorce planning process, chances are, you tried everything you could to make things work.
Second-guessing yourself will only cause unnecessary emotional and financial heartache. Once you’ve made the decision to start the divorce process, keep your head down and forge on. No matter how tough the road gets.
A therapist can help you sort through these doubts and emotions. Family counseling is another viable option for divorced couples with children.
4. Leave the Particulars to the Professionals
Getting divorced is an emotional rollercoaster. It can be difficult to think clearly, which is why it’s best to leave the particulars to the professionals.
Hire a qualified divorce attorney with plenty of experience handling cases like yours.
Some lawyers have more experience settling divorces that involve child support and custody issues. Others are skilled at dividing assets including multiple properties or businesses.
Find a lawyer with positive reviews and a good reputation for settling divorce cases similar to yours.
5. Rediscover Yourself
Plenty of people claim to lose a part of themselves when they get married. We get lost in our love for the other person and soon compromise our own values and desires for their happiness.
Now that you’re facing separation, it’s time to rediscover yourself. Start doing the things you once loved and try your hand at new activities and hobbies.
Reconnect with old friends you’ve lost touch with and make plenty of time for yourself. Self-care is essential for surviving a tumultuous divorce.
Things like eating healthy, exercising, and socializing can all help improve your mood and reduce your stress when facing an upsetting divorce.
6. Take Control of Your Future
When you’re numbed by the pain and shock of divorce, you may find yourself in an emotional rut. Prevent yourself from falling into a depression or losing sight of your objective by taking control of the situation.
That doesn’t mean acting out, breaking the law, or doing anything to complicate the process. But it does mean setting boundaries and regaining your self-confidence.
Getting divorced might involve selling your current residence and finding a new place to live. Don’t wait to get the ball rolling. Start viewing properties, applying for a mortgage, and meeting with a realtor.
Divorce may also change your financial situation. Consider starting a new career or getting a second job. Just avoid making too many major life decisions at once.
Don’t sit idly by waiting for someone else to make these positive changes for you.
Also, be honest with yourself about the things that you can’t control like your ex’s actions or the actions of their lawyer on their behalf.
Instead, focus on what you can do to regain your footing and survive a divorce.
7. Learn from Your Past
As painful as it is, divorce can also be a learning process. Sometimes, it’s the most difficult situations that teach us the most about ourselves.
When you get enough distance from your recent separation, look back objectively. Be honest about any mistakes you made. Examine how you’ve changed and grown as a person since your split.
Chances are, you’ll learn a thing or two about yourself that you didn’t know before. You may even tap into strength and resilience you never knew you had.
Take these lessons and apply them to your future endeavors and relationships.
Survive a Divorce and Come Back Better Than Ever
While divorce means the end of your marriage, it doesn’t mean the end of your life as you know it.
With these tips and the right divorce attorney, you can survive a divorce and emerge stronger than ever!
The professionals at Cook & Tolley can help you navigate this difficult process. Our lawyers will handle your case with compassion and respect from start to finish.